A Star of Chapinlandia (Guatemala)Guatemala: We are very proud to present "Romualdo" a brand new feature of The Guatemala Times.
Romulado has been around for many, many years. He is surrounded by many mysteries. Romualdo can never be seen, but he can be read. This enigmatic personality is only known through his exclusive spokesperson Eduardo Villatoro, Columnist of La Hora, Guatemala. He appears at the end of each of Eduardo Villatoros´ columns.
Nobody knows who he really is. Not even the CIA has been able to find him. Romualdo is versatile, he is a man of many trades, he has always something to say, usually something very funny and he makes me laugh. He is nosy to no end, he is everywhere, he has an opinion about everything, he knows everybody, he likes women and wine and parties, he is a bit of picaro (a chapin word that can not be translated, maybe sinomimous of Casanova), but he is always a gentleman and his discretion is legendary.
He is always curious. His questions are as interesting as his answers. It is a delight to read in two lines his exquisite chapin conclusions. For me Romulado is the quintessential Chapin. That is why we have declared him the most Chapin of all Chapines.
As he is very knowledgeable about all national events and has always something interesting to say, I consider him very well informed. Because he knows how to synthesize the most complex things in two lines, I would like him to be our president. Imagine at what speed things could be resolved. No endless speeches that drone on for hours. Romualdo gets up, speaks for a minute and everybody knows what he thinks.
Because he is so ingenious, charming and know how to move in all circles, I would send him as ambassador to the United Nations. They lack a dose of chapinismo and the United Nations could learn a lot from him.
Because he is concise, precise and concrete, he would be an excellent President of the Congress in Guatemala. Imagine, someone directing that circus and make it actually work. I would send him to be advisor at the Vatican, he has so much common sense he could help them transition into the 21th century and leave the middle ages behind.
I would put him on any panel of "experts", in Libre Encuentro, CNN, Climate change or Elimination of nuclear weapons. His interventions would be short, but substantial, and his interminable sense of humor could inject some urgently needed "chispa", to lower the tensions that afflict the poor experts, moderators and anchors who take themselves all too seriously. That is something he can teach all of us.
I would send him as an emergency hitter for all the editorialists that have a bad day at the desk. Imagine, a two line editorial, when they have lost their inspiration, what a relief.
Since Romualdo is a two sentence personality, I have to close this editorial soon. The good news is that he will appear here on the front page of the Guatemala Times, in the right upper corner. The bad news is that he can not be translated into English. That would be a literary crime against humanity. And now I will stop, because he will get far too vain if I keep on giving him all this compliments.
